singin lifes just so sweet
Things right now couldn't be much more rough then they are. With my normal life, not my family life.
I have so much emotion inside of me, I just feel as though I had to let it out. So today, I did just that. I was woken up around 7-8 this morning from my dad. He wanted me to go to church at 915. No way I was showering, I was dead. I was up until around 230 and waking up at that time wasn't what I wanted. I was so frustrated. I wanted to just yell at him because I didn't want to go. But he made me. I was even to tired to drive over there. So yeah, church service outside. It was cold. I was cold. I was wearing a sweatshirt and jeans and I was freezing. Sitting there in this little lawn chair freezing my ass off while trying to stay away when my pastor was talking. I managed to, but I was still mad. So, I decided I wanted to drive home. That was a trip. I had so much road rage I was going so fast. My dad told me he didn't want me to drive anymore today. I go home, and my bros want to play cards. So I did, and not more then 10 minutes after we start our game the phone rings. So I was just like ok whatever, so then my dad comes in and is like "Oh Jes, you have to go into work at 1." That just got me. I got on the phone with my mom and just lashed out, I was so pissed that I had to go in. I didn't want to, I was already grumpy I didn't want to go in at all. So yeah of course I had to because my mom already told them that I would. So I go into my room and at that time my head starts to hurt, I guess I fell asleep or something and I wake up and its 12, and in an hour I have to be at work, I havent showered yet and I don't have my clothes at my dad. I'm just thinking "fuck." So I get my dad and he takes me over, I wasn't allowed to drive. I get over there and just storm up to the shower. I was so pissed. I get in the bathroom and I just burst out. I slammed the door and punched the wall, and then tears just burst out. It soudns so stupid I know but it's what happened. I was SO emotinal, and I think that's what I needed. The whole time I was in the shower I was crying and then I started to puke. It was so grose. Just I was crying so hard it made me gag. Ugh, I hated it. I go downstairs, and my sis is the only one home. I get ready for work and leave. I go there, she tells me shes going in with Kyle and his parents soon, so she'll be able to give me a ride home. Work I guess wasn't as bad as I thought. I just was unhappy because of the events that went on beforehand. Then all of a sudden Britany (a girl I work with) runs over to me and give me a big hug and says "i love you jes! smile! i haven't seen you smile all day" I guess that just cheered me up. Then Chris and I were talking, stealing some food to munch on and such. It was fun, he's a cool guy. And Drew was also A/Cing with me so we had some to talk about. He lives up the street from me and I've known him since I was in grade school. I guess work wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I came home, watched The Girl Next Door again and just chilled out. I relaxed I guess you could say. I mean I did make a good amount of money today, and yeah, it wasn't that bad. But I'm glad I exploded, because I feel so much better. Last night I kind of got irritated with Pete, and I'm thankful that he has put up with me in the past month because I have been a total bitch to almost everyone. I guess I'm just starting to feel diffrent, since school starts in 2 days and I don't even know what I'm wearing the first day. Man, I have some stuff to do.
Tonight I'm going out with Chels and Nicole, Chels has the car tonight and then we're stayin at her house. Still havent goten to talk to Allison, but that is on my todo list for tomorrow. Her phone isn't online but if this is you Al- TOMORROW WE ARE HANGING OUT. GET IT GOT IT GOOD!
I have to go, Chels is comming soon and I have yet to eat today. Yeah, it's sad. The no eating thing came along with the depression I was going through. I need to be healthy again.